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I'm pretty damn jealous of my artist friends
and their limitless reservoir of creative energy
all the ones who can get things done and
make things happen and are
motivated to get through every day

I don't think I introduced you to that artist friend
who I know kind of but well actually not really
I mean we're friends on Facebook if that really counts
and I can't say we've even really had a conversation

But I'm so in awe of my artist friends
with their confident and emotionally distant personas
and lack of empathy for their fellow human beings
and their ability to write songs that don't go G D C G

(Like this... that's the chord progression.... that I'm using for this song)

I really think they're cool, though, my artist friends
you know the ones who can't emotionally commit to anybody
I mean you met one at that party but he kind of ignored you
and I think he was only there because
he heard there'd be coke

Hey let's all get together with my artist friends
my artist friends my artist friends
let's all have an orgy with my artist friends
and watch everyone masturbate simultaneously

I wish I could be like my artist friends
they have so many friends; I wish I had friends
But I don't know if I could call them my friends
I mean only because I don't know them that well, I don't wanna act like a hanger-on

But maybe if I was closer with my artist friends
I could be an artist too
and I'd impress you and I'd motivate myself
and lounge in my vast intellectual wealth

and take medication recreationally with beer on tap
and I could fuck you and never call you back

And people would like me and I'd be
kinda famous (start talking rather than singing) within certain circles I mean what are you gonna do
its not like everyone could appreciate my art
I mean the really deep stuff doesn't really speak to the masses
(trail off pretentiously)

My artist friends, my artist friends...


from Find Me in Heaven and We'll Stab our Way Out, released March 25, 2013



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